


Back For Our Beginning

by Fuzzypurplestuff



Series: Shine Bright the Lights [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Closeted, M/M, x-factor era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-20 01:16:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1491346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuzzypurplestuff/pseuds/Fuzzypurplestuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis must face all the repercussions of both his unauthorised trip and his conversation with Hannah.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Facing The Music

**Author's Note:**

> This is part two of the Shine Bright the Lights series, it won’t make much sense if you haven’t read the first story, [AWOL](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1358329?view_full_work=true/). 
> 
> A massive thank you to my beta/Britpicker [Jess](http://thisismyoneluckyprize.tumblr.com/)
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [Fuzzypurplestuff](http://fuzzypurplestuff.tumblr.com/)

The meeting had been unpleasant to say the least. Everyone had a go at him. They called him ungrateful and unprofessional. They threatened to replace him in the band. Was he aware just how many boys would love to be in his place? Louis made sure he was polite and attentive, even though all he could think about was the way Harry had smiled at him before he left. Finally the minions left and he was alone with Simon. “Would you like to tell me what this was all about?” The older man asked, his tone less than warm.

Louis swallowed hard. “It was personal?” He repeated for about the tenth time that morning.

“So you’ve said. Now I want to know what was so important in your personal life that you risked everything you have here to disappear without letting anyone know where you were going?”

Louis mouth was so dry he could barely speak. “May I have a glass of water please.”

Simon waved at the small refrigerator near the desk. “Help yourself.”

Louis got himself a bottle of water and drank half of it down before once again meeting Simon’s eyes. “It’s my girlfriend, we were, um, there were a few things we needed to talk about.”

“You risked losing the best opportunity you will ever have, because you had a fight with your girlfriend?” Simon sounded doubtful.

Louis peeked up at him. “Yes?”

“You don’t sound sure about that Louis.” Simon pulled a chair up and sat in front of him. “I want you to tell me what’s going on. And I want the truth.”

“I’m pretty sure you don’t.” Louis disagreed. “Sir.”

Simon’s eye widened. “She’s not pregnant is she?”

“NO! Why is that the first thing everybody thinks”

“Well, you take off without telling anyone, you’re evasive about the actual problem, the only thing you’ll tell me is that it involves a problem with your girlfriend. It’s a rather logical leap.”

Louis scrubbed his hand over his face. “She’s not pregnant.”

Simon nodded. “So you said. Now are you going to tell me what the problem is?”

“I can’t.”

Simon raised an eyebrow. “You– can’t?” 

“I’m pretty sure you don’t want to know.” Louis whispered.

“Louis–” Simon stopped and studied Louis carefully. “Dammit.” He stood and walked over to the window. “Who is it?”

Louis head snapped up. “What?”

“Who are you involved with in the house?”

“No one!” Louis answered truthfully.

Simon turned to face him again. “Enough is enough. I want to know right now what the hell sent you running to Doncaster!”

“I don’t– I can’t. I can’t tell you.” Louis voice cracked.

Simon returned to his seat in front of Louis. “Yes, you can. Frankly it doesn’t matter what the reason is. No matter what happened I would have a tough time removing you from One Direction. Your fans see you as a group now. But if there is a problem we’ll need time to get out in front of it. There’s not much on the right side of the law I could see being that big an issue as long as the girls. . .” Simon came to an abrupt halt. “Shit.”

Louis couldn’t meet Simon’s eyes.

“Louis?”

“Yes?”

“Are you gay?”

No answer.

“Louis. . . ?”

“Simon, I don’t-“

“Are you gay?”

“Yes.” Louis’ answer was barely audible.

“And your girlfriend. . . ?

“She was kinda the one who made me admit it to myself.”

“That must have been a very interesting conversation.”

Louis just nodded.

“But you’re still together?”

Louis nodded again.

“May I ask why?”

Louis shook his head.

Simon sighed, clearly frustrated. “Your girlfriend makes you admit that you are gay, then agrees to stay with you. You have to admit that sounds rather odd.”

“She thought it was best if I had a girlfriend while I was on the show.” Louis finally spoke.

“What difference would it make, none of the other boys have girlfriends?” Simon thought for a moment. “Do they?”

“No, sir, nothing serious.”

“Then why would it matter if you had a girlfriend.” Simon questioned. 

Louis shrugged,

Simon suddenly froze. “Unless you’re trying to hide something else. Or should I say some one else.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “It’s Harry, isn’t it?”

Louis jaw dropped. Surely he hadn’t been that obvious. “I–“

“How long?”

“No! You don’t understand. Nothing’s happened between me and Harry!” Louis couldn’t let this fall on Harry, he would leave the band before he let Harry get in trouble for something that hadn’t even happened. 

“Really?” 

“Yes, really.” Louis insisted. “He doesn’t even know I’m-- you know.” 

“You can say the word, Louis, the world won’t end.” Simon said surprisingly gently. “Are you telling me there’s nothing between you and Harry?”

Louis shook his head violently. 

“Louis, I really don’t care if you’re gay, or if Harry is. But I do need to know. There will be measures to be taken.”

“Measures?”

Simon nodded. “Measures. There are things we can do to make sure people don’t find out. You must already realise this is necessary as you and your girlfriend are planning on telling everyone you’re still together.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Louis fidgeted with his shirt. “Simon, I– ” Louis could feel himself start to shake. He wasn’t sure what all of this would mean for him and Harry, or if there could even be a him and Harry if Simon knew.

“It is Harry, isn’t it.” Simon’s tone was gentler.

Louis nodded.

“Have you told him?”

Louis shook his head.

“Do you plan to?” 

Another nod.

“Does he feel the same way?”

Louis shrugged one shoulder. “Hannah thinks so, and my mum.”

“Yes, well, I’ll have to defer to their superior knowledge.” Simon admitted. “Look, you’re not the first gay pop star, you’re certainly not the first gay boy band member, and while times have admittedly changed, there’s really no telling what the reaction would be from the public, especially if the two of you are in a relationship.”

Louis cleared his throat. “So you’re saying that Harry and I can’t be together?” He asked his tone pained and resigned.

Simon chuckled. “I learned a long time ago that telling two young people they can’t be together is a lesson in futility. At least this way I can control how things are handled and I can help make sure you don’t accidentally out yourselves”

Louis’ eyes brightened

“But,” Simon continued. “There will be rules and it won’t be easy.”

“I can do rules!” Louis promised.

Simon raised a sceptical brow.

“Harry can do rules and he’ll keep me in line.” Louis amended.

Simon nodded. “That’s a bit more realistic, I believe.” He sat behind the desk for the first time since Louis entered the room. “Now, you, Harry and I are going to have a sit down and decide what we are going to do about the two of you going forward.”

Louis nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, sir.”

“You make sure he understands that this is not going to be like any other relationship and I will be counting on the two of you to do whatever it takes to keep this band on top. One Direction can be huge, Louis. You boys could win this thing and then the sky’s the limit. I haven’t seen a reaction to a group like this in a very long time. I would hate to see you or Harry be the ones to bring it to an end.” Simon laid the guilt on, thick and heavy.

Louis swallowed hard. “No, we wouldn’t want that either.”

“Right then. You have your chat with Harry.” Simon smirked when Louis paled. “We’ll all get together tomorrow morning before rehearsal.”

Louis stood and nodded. “Yes sir, we’ll make sure we’re here early.” He stopped for a moment. “That’s if there’s anything to talk about.”

Simon nodded. “Yes, well, call my office if we need to cancel.”

Louis knew when he had been dismissed. He said his goodbyes to Simon and made his way to the rehearsal room where the boys were waiting.

The other boys were huddled around the piano, Zayn had his arm wrapped around Harry’s shoulder and appeared to be reassuring him about something. Niall was chatting with Savan and Liam was kind of hovering just outside the other boys. 

Louis marched into the room with his arms spread wide. “He’s back!”

The others rushed over to crowd around him. Hugs were once again exchanged and Liam was the first to speak. “Well?”

“I’m not going anywhere.” The others gave a little cheer. “They gave me a good bollocking but Uncle Si had the final word and I’m here to stay.”

“Then you won’t mind if we get to work?” Savan spoke up from the piano bench. “You’ve already missed a day's rehearsal.”

“Yes, we really do need to get to work. We are soooo far behind.” Liam agreed.

Louis shot Liam a look. “I missed one day, Liam, one. I’m pretty sure we can get past it, it’s not like I have a long complicated solo I have to work on. And we haven’t even started on the choreography.”

“Yes, but–“ Liam tried again.

“Nope, not listening, let's get to work.” Louis grabbed Harry and dragged him to the piano with a wink.

Harry’s cheeks flushed and he laughed, shaking his head. “One of these days he’s gonna give you a whack, you know that, right,” he said so only Louis could hear.

“Phfft. Not bloody likely.” Louis waved grandly at Savan. “Maestro!” 

They spent the rest of the day rehearsing Kids in America. There were several times Harry and Zayn had to step in between Louis and Liam to prevent bloodshed, when every time anyone made even the smallest mistake, Liam would sigh heavily and give Louis a look. Finally Savan had had enough and sent them on their way. Once he had left them Louis turned on Liam. “Just say what you want to say and get it over with, ‘cuz if you keep it up with the sighs and the looks we are going to have a problem.”

Zayn stepped up. “Lou–“

“No, Zayn, if he keeps on with his crap, this isn’t going to work.” Louis insisted.

Liam crossed his arms. “I just think you should take this seriously is all.”

Louis tried to move closer to him but Harry’s hand on his arm stopped him. “Seriously? But for yesterday, I have worked just as hard or harder than everyone else in this room.” He shook off Harry’s hand and stepped right into Liam’s personal space. “Name me one time I haven’t given everything I have to this group.” 

Liam took a step back. “You’re always messing around, and– and doing things we aren’t supposed to be doing. You’re gonna to get us in trouble!”

Harry stepped up before Louis could answer. “We have to have fun, Liam. We all work just as hard as you do. But we have to have fun. We’re kids!”

“But this is important!”

“Oh for fuck's sake, Liam!” Louis shouted. “Do you really think any of us don’t know how important this is? Do you think any of us want to go back to our home towns, to school, back to everything we came here to get out of and away from?” He took a calming breath. “We all know how important this is, what it could mean if we keep doing as well as we have been. But, we still have to have fun and for you to say we aren’t taking it seriously is bullshit. We may not all have been working at being a pop star since we were in nappies like you have, but it’s just as important to us as it is to you and you need to stop acting like you’re the only one who does any work around here!”

“You’re going to get us in trouble!”

“HOW? I just took off for a whole day without telling anyone where I was, and yet here we are!”

That seemed to stop Liam. He hunched his shoulders a bit and glared at Louis through his fringe. 

Zayn put a reassuring hand on Liam’s shoulder. “We get it, Leeyum, we really do. It means as much to us as it does to you. But, like, we just want to have a bit of fun while doing it, what’s wrong with that?”

“I just don’t want to go home again.” Liam whispered. “It was so awful last time.”

“Then we won’t.” Harry stated firmly. “But, we have to be able to relax and have a good time without you going all Daddy Direction on us.”

Liam’s head snapped up as the other three dissolved in laughter. “What did you call me?”

Louis was howling. “Oh, god, that’s perfect, Daddy Direction!”

Zayn and Niall were holding each other up they were laughing so hard.. 

Liam finally cracked a smile. “Thanks Haz, you know that’s all he’s going to call me from now on.”

Harry smirked. “We all have our crosses to bear Lee.” He patted the other boy on the shoulder. “Apparently, Louis is your’s”

“Oi!” Louis grabbed Harry around the neck and ruffled his curls. “I’m nobody’s cross.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Lou.” Zayn was still hanging onto Niall. The whole thing quickly devolved into a wrestling match that ended when Liam accidentally kneeled on Niall’s head.

They lay there panting from exertion when Louis spoke. “I know it’s hard for you, Liam, after the last time, but just try to have a bit of fun, yeah?”

“I can try to do that, if you can try to take things a bit more seriously.”

“Yeah, not sure that’s gonna happen but we can see what we can do.” Louis teased.

“Aye, you lot ready to go back to the house?” came a voice from the door. 

They all turned as one to see the van driver standing there. They scrambled to collect their things and raced to the van. Before they made it to the door, Harry grabbed Louis’ arm. “When are we gonna have that talk?”

Louis swallowed hard and couldn’t quite meet Harry’s eyes. “Um, yeah, after we eat?”

Harry grinned. “Works for me.” He ran his hand down Louis arm and squeezed his hand before he went to join the others in the van.

Louis entire body broke out in goosebumps from Harry’s touch. “Get it together, idiot.” He muttered to himself before he climbed into the van.


	2. Off to a Good Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part two of the Shine Bright the Lights series, it won’t make much sense if you haven’t read the first story, [AWOL](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1358329?view_full_work=true/). 
> 
> A massive thank you to my beta/Britpicker [Jess](http://thisismyoneluckyprize.tumblr.com/)
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [Fuzzypurplestuff](http://fuzzypurplestuff.tumblr.com/)

Louis was standing in the hall after their evening meal. A fun affair, during which everyone in the house had a go at Louis about leaving and some were clearly pissed off that he was allowed to stay in the competition. Most seemed to think that if One Direction wasn’t Simon’s act, Louis would have been out of there. Even he had to admit they probably had a point with that one, but right then he didn’t care. Right then Harry was waiting to talk. Right then Harry was in their room while the other boys were watching a film with their house mates. Right then he was going to take the biggest chance in his entire life and admit to Harry that he had other than friendly feeling for him.

Louis pushed the door to the room open and stopped. It was clear Harry was nervous too, he was cleaning. Or tidying really. He was folding a pile of shirts that may or may not have been clean but it was apparent Harry just needed the busy work. Louis cleared his throat and Harry looked up at him. Under most circumstances Louis would have received a big bright smile complete with dimples, just for entering the room. It was testament to Harry’s nerves that he barely managed to conjure up a single dimple.

“Hey, Lou.” Harry stood when Louis walked in.

“Hey.” Louis smoothed his shirt trying to find a way to start this conversation. “So that was fun. I think everyone had a good time taking their shots at me. My mum would probably say that’s what I get for being a pain in the backside.”

“You wanna tell me why you went home?” Harry asked quietly, obviously not in the mood for small talk.

Louis nodded, relieved to have a place to start. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.” He sat on his bed and Harry sat on the one facing. “So, you know I was worried because Hannah hadn’t answered any of my calls or tweets or stuff?”

Harry’s face fell slightly, but he nodded.

“Well, I went to see her to see what was going on. I needed to know what was going on.”

Harry nodded again. “She okay?”

“Yeah, I guess. She isn’t cheating on me.”

“Well, that’s good, right?” Harry’s smile was forced.

“Yeah, it was um, she wasn’t–“ Louis sighed. “Shit, I don’t even know where to start.”

Harry moved to sit next to Louis and rubbed his back. “It’s okay, Lou. You know you can tell me anything.” Harry’s body language had changed completely, whereas all day it had been flirty and extra affectionate, now it was subdued and tense. 

Louis took a deep breath and blew it out through his teeth. “She thinks I’m in love with you.”

Harry froze, as far as Louis could tell he’d even stopped breathing. Louis turned to him, slightly alarmed. Harry was staring at him mouth slightly open and eyes wide. He really did appear to have lost his breath. “Harry?”

Harry gulped in air. “She actually said that?”

Louis nodded. Everything Harry had done that day from the moment Louis had returned had given him hope, this reaction was making him more than a bit nervous.

“And what did you say?” Harry asked, his voice barely audible.

Louis swallowed, his mouth gone suddenly dry. “Denied it.” Harry flinched and started to move away. “At first.”

Harry looked up, eyes bright with unshed tears. Louis reached up to touch Harry’s cheek and smiled when the other boy nuzzled into his touch. “Yeah, she was really insistent that I be honest with her, and myself.” He rubbed his thumb gently under Harry’s eye, wiping away the moisture. “It wasn’t easy.”

Harry nodded his understanding. “What made you change your mind?”

“I just. . . I was sick of pretending. Of trying to be something I wasn’t. Of feeling like what I felt was wrong. Of– of trying too hard to be normal.”

Harry drew away his eyes suddenly hard. “You think liking me makes you not normal?” 

“No! No, that’s not what I meant!” Louis protested. He turned on the bed so he was sitting cross legged facing Harry. “It took me a while to work things out. I knew really early on something was different. When other boys started talking about girls I just didn’t get it, at first I thought I was just late bloomer.” He gave Harry a little shove when he snorted at this. “I just didn’t get it.” He repeated. “I mean I got teased a bit because I’m well, maybe a bit flamboyant, but being captain of the football team helped keep most of that away. Though being in drama club didn’t help. I learned to tone myself down. I went out with girls because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do. I even slept with them because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do. But all my crushes, were boys. The only people I was attracted to were boys and I hated it.”

Harry had mirrored Louis' position and grabbed both his hands and squeezed but remained quiet and let Louis continue.

“I didn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t, I was convinced they’d all hate me if I did. So I kept going out with girls and hating it. Sex was something I was supposed to do not something I wanted, at least not with the ones I was doing it with.” Louis chewed on his lip for a moment then looked up at Harry through his lashes. “Then I met you.”

Harry smiled softly. “Yeah?”

Louis nodded. “Yeah. It was, I, hmm.” He huffed out a deep breath and tried again. “It was different, from the very first time I met you, it was different.”

“The toilet.”

Louis nodded with a chuckle. “Yeah. I mean, I’d seen you around and knew you were, you know.”

Harry raised an eyebrow, “I was. . . ?“

“Oh shut it, you know you’re adorable.”

Harry wrinkled his nose. “Puppies and kittens are adorable.”

“Yes, they are.” Louis teased.

Harry pulled a face. “Whatever, get on with telling me how irresistible I am.”

“Cheeky is what you are!”

Harry grinned full and wide, showing off both dimples for the first time since Louis had entered the room.

“Anyway! I had seen you around and knew you were attractive. Then I met you and you were–“ Louis stopped, searching for the right word. “Lovely.”

“Lovely?”

“Lovely.”

Harry contemplated for a moment then seemed to accept this assessment.

Louis continued. “Then I found out you were only sixteen.”

“Heeeyy!” Harry protested. “You’re only eighteen.”

“Yeah but there’s a big difference.”

Harry snorted. “Yeah, two years.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Louis scrubbed a hand over his face. “It just sounded so young when I found out. When I got to know you it was different but at first. . . “ he smiled remembering. “Then we got put in the band together and you were so enthusiastic and ready to go, even when the rest of us weren’t sure what was going on, you were so confident it was the right thing to do.”

“It wasn’t exactly a tough decision, Lou. I couldn’t believe any of you even had to think about it.”

Louis shrugged. “It was when we went to Robin’s that it happened.” He grinned. “You spent at least half that time naked. It was not helpful in my quest to not be attracted to you.”

Harry giggled. “Good! I already had a massive crush on you.”

Louis’ eyes widened. “Seriously?”

Harry nodded. “From about two seconds after I met you, I thought you were kind of wonderful.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wasn’t exactly subtle, Lou.” Harry laughed. “And sometimes I thought maybe you were interested. But there was also the fact that I thought you were straight. And had a girlfriend, who you talked about all the time.”

Louis winced. “Oh.”

“Yeah, it kinda sucked. Here I’d found this amazing, funny, smart, sexy, talented, guy who I got along with better than anyone I’d ever met, and all he ever talked about was his girlfriend.” Harry’s smile turned sad. “I knew I was gay. One semi-serious girlfriend was enough for me to be very certain it was boys, not girls for me. I'd even told my family.” He looked down at their joined hands. “Then I met you.”

“I’m sorry.”

Harry shrugged. “It’s hard. Loving and wanting someone you know will never love you back. At first it really was just a crush of course, but then we got so close so fast and I tried so hard not to- to- fall, but the more time we spent together and the more I knew you the worse it got. I kept telling myself it was okay and that at least I could be your best friend, but it still hurt when you’d talk about Hannah.”

“Shit, Harry–“

“No, don’t it's not your fault. You were going through your own shit.”

“I was, but. . . “

“Lou, stop.” Harry rubbed his thumb across Louis’ mouth causing the other boy to gasp softly. “You hadn’t really even admitted to yourself that you were–“ He paused realising Louis had never actually said it.

“Gay, I’m gay, Harry.”

Harry nodded. “You hadn’t even admitted to yourself that you were gay had you?”

Louis shook his head. “Not really, I mean I knew, but I was still trying to deny it. Which is why I talked about Hannah all the time. If I had a girlfriend no one would think. . .”

“So why should you be responsible for the way I felt?” Harry stroked Louis’ cheek, his big hand warm and soft.

“Maybe, but I still hate thinking of you hurting.”

“Fair enough. But now here we are.” Harry twirled a lock of Louis hair around his index finger and smiled softly. “You know I’m in love with you, right?”

Louis felt the breath leave his body. He had not been expecting Harry to be that forthright. “I- wh-“

“Breathe, Lou.” Harry chuckled. “It’s okay. You don’t have to–“

“No, I do.” Louis pressed a kiss to the palm of Harry hand causing Harry to suck in a deep breath. “I love you too. Have almost from the beginning.”

Harry’s smile was brilliant. “I really want to kiss you.” He whispered. “Can I kiss you, Lou?”

Louis was leaning forward before Harry had finished speaking. “Mmhmm.” He answered as he pressed his lips against the other boy’s.

It was different, kissing a boy. While Harry’s lips were just as soft as they looked, nothing else was. The square jaw, the broader shoulders, the stronger arms, all felt wonderful and right under Louis’ hands. It was slightly tentative at first, teasing, testing, then Harry moved his hand from Louis’ face down his back to draw him close, bringing their bodies flush against each other. All Louis could think as he tangled his hands in Harry’s curls, was that this was what it should feel like, this was what had been missing. Then when he felt Harry’s tongue against his lips he stopped thinking altogether. They sat just like that, kissing deeply, neither one of them pushing for more, content just to be together, both still a little unsure of this new world they had entered. 

It was Harry who finally sat back, his cheeks flushed and eyes glowing. “That was. . .”

Louis nodded. “Yeah, it really was.” 

They burst into giggles once again falling into each other. They ended up lying on the bed facing each other, legs tangled together, fingers knotted between their chests.

Louis cleared his throat. “There’s something we need to talk about.”

“Hmmm?” Harry hummed, his eyes were getting droopy, the tension of the last couple of days catching up with him.

“Simon knows.”

Harry was suddenly wide awake. “What?” He sat up abruptly, dislodging Louis and almost tumbling him to the floor.

Louis righted himself and grabbed Harry’s hand to prevent him from getting up. “Calm down, it’s okay.”

“How can it be okay? He’s never gonna let us be together!”

“Actually he is.” Louis tugged on Harry’s hand until the other boy turned to face him. “He said it was futile to tell us not to be together.” This earned a small smile from Harry. “Yeah, he’s not wrong. But he also said there will be rules.”

“We’re gonna havta hide, aren’t we?” Harry asked sadly.

Louis nodded. “Yeah, probably for a while. I would hate for us to be the reason the band doesn’t make it.”

Harry pulled his hand away and started pacing, kicking the stuff on the messy floor out of his way. “That just sucks! I mean, I get that we have to hide. I get it, but we shouldn’t have to. The fact that we love each other and we’re both boys shouldn’t threaten the band.”

Louis grabbed Harry’s hand as he made another turn around the room. “You’re right, it sucks. It’s the same reason I didn’t feel safe coming out back home though.”

“What, because people are idiots?”

“Basically.” He tugged Harry down to sit beside him. “Look, it probably won’t even be for very long. Simon thinks we’re going to be huge. So the way I see it is, we either make it big and get to call the shots on when we come out, or we don’t make it and nobody cares if we come out. Either way I can’t see us hiding for very long, yeah?”

“Yeah, I guess. Do you really think we’ll be able to come out if we make it?”

“Of course. If we’re really big stars with tonnes of money who’s going to tell us we can’t?” Louis answered confidently.

“True.” Harry agreed. “What else did Simon say?”

“He wants to meet with us tomorrow morning to discuss the measures we will have to take to make sure no one else finds out.”

Harry screwed up his face. “Measures, ‘m not sure I like the sound of that.”

Louis waved away his protest. “Nah, I’m sure he just wants to make sure we don’t tell the other contestants so they don’t blab to the press, that’s all.”

“Hmmm. What if he wants us to lie to the boys?” Harry worried. “That would mean we would never get any time together. And I really don’t want to lie to them”

Louis thought about that for a moment then got a grin on his face Harry knew didn’t bode well for someone. “What if we tell them before we meet with him?”

Harry chewed on his bottom lip and then gave a little cough, a sure sign he was getting either upset or nervous or both. “I don’t want to piss Simon off, Lou.”

“Pftt, he didn’t tell me not to tell the boys. So how can he be angry?” Louis asked cheerfully.

Harry nodded. “Okay, good, I don’t think it would be right to keep this from them. We have to be in this together.”

“Yup, I agree.” Louis thought for a moment. “Try to keep me from braining Liam when he melts down, yeah?”

Harry chuckled. “I promise. Should I go get them?”

“Nah, it can wait. Let’s just enjoy a few more minutes of peace.” Louis pulled Harry down with him as he lay back on the pillow.

“Yeah? I like the way you think.” Harry punctuated his words with a deep kiss.


	3. All For One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis share their news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part two of the Shine Bright the Lights series, it won’t make much sense if you haven’t read the first story, [AWOL](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1358329?view_full_work=true/). 
> 
> A massive thank you to my beta/Britpicker [Jess](http://thisismyoneluckyprize.tumblr.com/)
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [Fuzzypurplestuff](http://fuzzypurplestuff.tumblr.com/)

An hour later found the two boys wrapped around each other exchanging deep, lazy, sleepy, kisses. The newness of their situation and the knowledge that the other boys could walk in at any moment went a long way to keeping things PG and their hands mostly above their waists if not above their clothes. Louis was the one to finally break the easy silence they had fallen into. “Um, I- hmm, this is weird. ‘Cause I don’t really. . . shit” 

Harry chuckled at him. “Well, that made perfect sense.” He sobered when he could see Louis was serious. “What’s up?”

“Sex.” Louis blurted.

Harry’s eyes widened. “Right now?” He squeaked.

“NO!” Louis all but shouted, sitting up. “That’s not what I meant.” He tried to fix his mutilated fringe but gave it up for a lost cause. “I meant we’re going to have sex, right.”

Harry sat up as well. “Absolutely!”

“Okay, good, that’s good. When?”

Harry cleared his throat. “Sooner’s better than later far as I’m concerned.”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely. I have the hottest boyfriend on the planet. I definitely plan to have a lot of really great sex with him.” Harry stated firmly.

“I– okay, good, I just. . .” Louis paused, “Boyfriend?”

Harry just arched a brow at him. “Is there a problem with us having sex?”

Louis shook his head adamantly. “No, no, not technically.”

“Tech– what the hell does that mean?”

“I’m sorry, H, I just– I’ve spent the last six or seven years actively avoiding anything to do with homosexuality. Any shows with a gay character were out of the question, books, movies, same thing.”

“That can’t have been too difficult.” Harry said drily. 

“A lot easier than it should have been actually. But the thing is, I never ever wanted to see two guys together-“

“Even easier to avoid.” Harry posited. 

“Would you just listen!”

Harry reached out and gently pinched Louis bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. “You’re not quite sure how this whole thing works, are you?” He asked softly.

Louis shook his head. “I mean, I know the logistics of it, but I couldn’t let myself be curious. I didn’t want to know, you know?”

“I haven’t done any more than you have, that was the first time I’ve kissed a boy.” Harry admitted. “But, I did allow myself to be curious, and you would really be amazed what you can learn online.” His sweet smile turned to a rather filthy smirk. “So I guess we’ll just kinda have to learn as we go, yeah?”

“Just like when I was fifteen and with a girl for the first time.” Louis chuckled then stopped when he saw Harry’s face. “What?”

“I just, I guess I never thought about that.”

“What, does it bother you that I slept with other people?” Louis asked confused.

Harry shook his head. “Not if it doesn’t bother you that I haven’t.”

“What?” Louis eyebrows shot up. “But I thought. . .” He stopped for moment. “You never actually said you’d slept with anyone did you?”

“No, I kind of avoided the question whenever you guys brought it up. I’ve done other stuff, but never, you know, the whole thing.”

“But why, what difference does it make? Who cares if you haven’t had sex?” Louis squeezed Harry’s hand. “You are only sixteen.”

Harry shrugged one shoulder and looked down at his lap. “Everyone kept talking about how I was the one the girls were after, that I was flirting with everyone and I was the cheeky one. They did that thing with the girls at bootcamp. I guess I just thought I had to– I don’t know, go along with it?”

“That’s bullshit. You don’t ever have to pretend with me, okay? Or anybody else for that matter. You never have to be anything other than who you are, ever!”

Harry nodded. “Okay, but that goes for you too. Who you are is who I love, so that’s who I need you to be.”

“Sounds like a song lyric, you sappy bugger.” 

Harry giggled and flopped back on the bed pulling Louis down on top of him. He was about to speak when the other boys walked in the room. The fact that none of the boys batted so much as an eyelash upon finding their band mates tangled together on the bed spoke volumes. 

“Hey you guys missed a pretty good film.” Niall said as he stripped off his shirt and chucked it on the pile Harry had folded earlier.

‘We needed to talk.” Louis explained sitting up.

Zayn gave them the once over. “Everything okay?”

Harry and Louis looked at each other and Louis nodded for Harry to go ahead. “Can you guys sit, we need to talk to you.”

The other boys immediately took seats. “What’s wrong.” Liam asked.

Harry cleared his throat and ruffled his hair. “Louis and I had a talk tonight.”

“Yeah, we know.” Niall nodded.

Harry shot him a quelling look and Niall just shrugged. “We were talking about why Louis went to Doncaster yesterday.”

“Yeah, why did you go–“

“Niall, shut up and let him finish.” Zayn admonished.

Niall pouted slightly but kept quiet.

Harry smiled at Zayn. “The reason for the trip to Doncaster is kind of irrelevant really.”

“Irrelevant! He could have got us kicked—“ Zayn wrapped his arm around Liam’s head and covered his mouth.

“Let them finish!” Zayn repeated even more forcefully. Liam shook him off but remained quiet.

“The reason for the trip doesn’t matter but the result of the trip does.” Harry coughed into his hand. “Louis and I are together.” He blurted.

All three of the other boys just stared at them.

“You boys alright?” Louis was starting to get a bit concerned.

“You– you’re– together?” Liam stuttered. 

Harry and Louis both nodded.

“Like boyfriends?” Was Niall’s question.

“Yes, we’re boyfriends. Is that a problem?” Harry challenged.

“No! Don’t be–“ Zayn started only to be interrupted. 

“Of course it’s a problem!” Liam exploded. “Are you trying to destroy this band?” 

“You know what, Liam, fuck you!” Louis got up from his seat. 

Harry stood as well, grabbing Louis’ arm to prevent him getting too close to Liam. “Enough!” The others all stared, it wasn’t like him to raise his voice in anger. “Louis, sit down. Liam shut up!”

“No, Harry I won’t shut up, you two are going to destroy everything we have here!”

Harry moved to stand directly in front of Liam. “If you could keep your mouth shut for two seconds we could explain to you that nothing is going to happen to the band.”

Liam snorted. “Oh really, and how do you think they’re going to react when the find out you two are...” He waved his hands at them. “Whatever it is you are?”

“What we are, is together.” Harry stated calmly. “And believe it or not, you don’t get a vote on that one. As for how it affects the group, well if you had just let us finish before having a fit, we would have told you that Simon already knows.” 

Louis could see Liam was about to blow again so he stepped in. “Yes, Liam, he knows. He is aware how Harry and I feel about each other and he wants to meet with us tomorrow to discuss how we are going to deal with the situation.”

Liam gave a heaving sigh of relief. “Well that’s good, he’ll make you stop then.”

Turned out it was Louis who had to stop Harry from having a go at Liam. Stepping between the two to address Liam. “Either shut up or there really are going to be problems with this band!” 

Zayn pulled Liam back down to sit with him and Niall on the bed. “Lee, let them talk.”

“But, Zayn, they–“

“No, let them talk. Harry and Louis care just as much about this as we do, let them talk.” Zayn rubbed Liam’s back soothingly.

Liam folded his arms across his chest and glared at Louis. “Fine.”

Louis sat on the bed across from them and took Harry’s hand as he joined him. “As Harry said Simon knows. We talked about it this morning when I got back. He doesn’t want to keep us apart.” Louis shot Liam a death glare when he made a derisive sound. “Simon made it pretty clear that we would have to follow certain rules but that we could be together.”

Liam raised a hand.” May I speak?” he asked sarcastically. 

“No.” Harry shot back.

Louis continued. “Simon said it wouldn’t be easy, and he plans to go over everything with us tomorrow morning. But we are going to be together you guys. We just wanted you to know first.”

“So we get no say in this?” Liam snapped.

“Have you asked for our opinion about whether or not you should pursue Danielle?” Harry asked loftily. “After all it is against the rules she does work for production.”

“It’s not even close to the same thing.”

“You’re right, it’s not.” Harry agreed. “You’re actually breaking the rules, we’re not.”

Liam snorted. “Whatever. Do you really think girls are going to buy records from a boy-band with two–“

“Be very, very careful what you say next, Liam.” Louis warned, his voice ice cold.

“Gay guys in it.” Liam finished.

“Hate to break it to ya, Lee, but yeah, they will. It’s not like we’d be the first boy band with a gay member” Louis reasoned. “In fact boy-bands without a gay member are the rare ones.”

“Yeah, but not two gay guys, in a relationship, with each other.” Niall spoke for the first time since their announcement. 

“Do you have a problem with us being together, Ni?” Harry asked softly. He had expected Liam to object, but Niall knew how he felt about Louis, had from the start.

“NO!” Niall all but shouted. “Fuck no! Jesus, Harry you know I’m happy for you guys, right?”

“But. . . “

“No, I really am happy for you. I just know that people are mostly giant dicks about stuff like this. It’s not gonna be easy.” He stood up and hugged Harry. “But we got you guys.” He looked at Zayn and Liam. “Don’t we.”

Zayn joined the hug reeling Louis in. “Fuck, yeah. If we don’t have each other’s back who will, right Lee?”

Liam hesitated for a moment, making eye contact with Harry. “I think it’s dangerous and could kill us before we even get a chance to start, if it gets out.” He held up a hand when Zayn started to protest. “But I think we can do this.”

Harry pounced on Liam squishing him and landing a sloppy kiss on his forehead. “It’ll be okay, Liam, you’ll see. We’re gonna win this thing!” He danced away from Liam with his arms raised in victory.

“Hey! I got one request.” Niall interrupted the gaiety.

Harry and Louis turned to face him. “A request? You want us to sing something?” Louis teased.

“No, ya idiot. I want you to promise I won’t have to watch you snog.”

Louis straightened his shoulders, suddenly serious. “You have a problem with two guys snogging?”

Niall rolled his eyes. “No. I used to hate it when my brother’d snog his girlfriends in front of me and I don’t think I’d like it any better if you two do it.”

Louis grabbed Niall and rubbed his head . “Ahh, poor Nialler. Tell ya what, we’ll do our best to control ourselves.”

“Fuck off, ya twat!” Niall wiggled out of Louis’ grasp and gave him a shove. 

Louis fell into Harry who promptly grabbed him and gave him a big smacking kiss. 

“Ack, see, that right there, I didn’t need to see it. It’s even creepier as you’re both like brothers t’me.”

Zayn and Liam both shivered and threw Harry and Louis disturbed looks. Harry pulled a face at them. “Try not be stupider than God made you. We’re together, we’re both tactile, affectionate people, there’s a pretty good chance you’re going to see us being both tactile and affectionate with each other. We’ll try not to make your sensitive little selves witness anything too damaging to your little virgin eyes.” He snarked.

Zayn groaned and hid his face in Liam’s back. “I’m totally gonna walk in on you two... doing whatever it is you two are gonna do, aren’t I.”

Louis and Harry collapsed against each other laughing helplessly at the look of abject horror on Zayn’s and the other boys’ faces. Louis smirked at them. “You guys do know we don’t plan on making you watch us–“

“STOP!” Niall held up both hands. “I don’t needta hear about it either.” He took a deep breath. “Look, we love you guys and we’re happy you finally got your shit together and admitted how you feel. But it’s a little weird for us, it’ll just take us a bit to get used to two of us being a couple, okay?”

“Okay, we get it. Keep the PDA to a minimum.” Harry smiled softly. 

“‘preciate it, mate.”


	4. Rules and Regs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys find out what it's going to take to be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part two of the Shine Bright the Lights series, it won’t make much sense if you haven’t read the first story, [AWOL](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1358329?view_full_work=true/). 
> 
> A massive thank you to my beta/Britpicker [Jess](http://thisismyoneluckyprize.tumblr.com/)
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [Fuzzypurplestuff](http://fuzzypurplestuff.tumblr.com/)

The next morning Louis and Harry were sitting outside Simon’s office waiting to see him when Niall, Liam and Zayn burst in. “Oh thank Christ, we thought we’d be too late.” Niall gasped as they flopped into the other seats in the waiting area.

“What are you guys doing here?” Harry asked casting an eye at the receptionist who was now giving them all a dirty look.

Liam leaned forward. “We decided that if we’re going to do this together, we’re going to do this together.”

Harry smiled gratefully. “Thanks, man, but you don’t have to do this. This one’s on Louis and me.”

Zayn shook his head. “Yeah, we thought about that, and you’re wrong.”

“I am?”

“This could seriously impact all of us, plus you may need someone in there who has your backs.” Zayn patted Louis on the shoulder. “Simon is gonna be more worried about the show and what happens after. You guys need someone in the room that cares what happens to you.”

“You guys really don’t–“ 

“Shut it, Haz, we’re here and we’re going in with you.” Liam ordered.

Harry sat back in his seat with a grin at Louis who just shook his head and smiled.

“You can go in now.” The receptionist said with a scowl.

“Jeez, ya’d think we were gonna rob the place the way she acts.” Niall stage whispered to Zayn as they walked past the unhappy woman.

All five boys were quiet and serious as they entered Simon’s office. Simon was seated behind his desk and his second in command, Jake was standing beside him. “I see you brought reinforcements.” He smirked at Louis. “I assume things went the way you hoped.”

Louis nodded blushing, much to the amusement and shock of the other boys. 

“And I am also going to assume you told the told the others and that’s why they’re here?”

All five nodded this time.

“Sit.”

They all took chairs in front of Simon’s desk. “Now, I have somewhere I have to be. Jake is going to go over everything we need you to do. Know that he speaks for me on this and I will see you at rehearsal.” With that Simon got up and left the room. 

The boys all looked at each other dumbfounded, they certainly hadn’t expected this. Jake smiled at them. “He’s filled me in on everything. Believe me, you’d rather deal with me on this than him.” The boys couldn’t disagree, Jake had always been their go between with Simon and they all liked him, he was much more easy-going and friendly than the big man. “First I have to ask what you three think of all of this?”

Niall, Zayn, and Liam looked at each other and Niall said. “We’re happy for them, worried about how people will react, because let's be real, people can be– er, less than understanding about relationships like theirs.”

Jake looked at each of them as though trying to gauge their individual feeling about the issue. “Yes, people are often _less than understanding_ which is why we are going to set out a strategy for his band going forward.” He sat back and steepled his hands in front of his face. “Now, first thing, is there anything else you boys think I might need to know?”

“I– um, I’m kinda seeing someone.” Liam spoke up hesitantly.

Jake raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m assuming you're speaking of Ms Peazer.”

All five boys’ jaws dropped. “H– how did–“ Liam stuttered.

“One of the greatest weaknesses of the young is assuming everyone over thirty is blind and stupid.” Jake said, not unkindly. “We see much more than you think. Ask Louis.”

The other four looked at Louis, he just shrugged. “Took Simon about five seconds to figure out what the problem was yesterday after the minio–“ He stopped short with a sheepish grin at Jake.

“So, there are going to be rules. Hard, fast, rules to which you will adhere with a religious fervour. Am I clear?” Jake’s tone made it clear the time for levity was definitely over.

“Yes, sir.” Harry and Louis said in perfect unison.

Jake took in their hangdog expressions. “Look, you two, I know the last thing you want to be doing when you're entering a new relationship is dealing with loads of rules. However, this band is on the brink of something quite special. We’ve never seen anything like it. It’s only been a couple of months and the fan response is more what I would expect after at least a single release. So we have to be careful, as quickly as it happened it can all go away. Teenage girls can be very devoted, but we have to give them reason to be.”

“And two boys being with each other means the fantasy is dead.” Louis said softly. “Especially if one of them is Harry.”

Jake nodded. “I know it’s hard to hear, but the reality of the situation is we don’t know how the fans would react. We might not have too much trouble if one of you came out, it might even add to the buzz around you.”

“You mean if I came out, right? It couldn’t be Harry.” 

“Don’t be silly, Lou, it wouldn’t matter which of us it was.” Harry protested. 

Louis smiled softly. “I love you for believing that, but it just isn’t true.” He turned to Jake. “Is it?”

“I’m sorry, Harry, but Louis is right. As of this moment you are the on the girls are making the most fuss over. That could change next week, we don’t know, but for now, it’s you.” 

Harry looked down at his hands. “You don’t want either one of us to come out though, do you?”

“No, we don’t. I think for now we leave things as they were. All five of you are straight.”

All five boys nodded.

Jake addressed Harry and Louis. “Right now, the fans love your friendship, they like how close you are. It’s getting a lot of chatter online. They like the almost flirty way you are with each other.”

“Almost flirty?” Zayn interjected. “You think they’re _almost_ flirty?”

Jake shot him a look and continued. “Therefore I don’t see any real reason for you to change much. However, I know that the fact that your relationship has changed will start to show if you are not careful.”

Harry and Louis both nodded. 

 

“You’re both young and I get that it’s exciting and new but you have to be careful.” Jake spent the next twenty minutes laying out the rules they would have to follow, but what it boiled down to was they got to keep behaving the same way they always had but no more. Nothing that would give any indication they were a couple. The list included, no hand holding, no embraces, no cuddling and certainly no kissing. When Louis pointed out that some of that stuff was what they were already doing, Jake told him there was a difference in the way a couple did those things. The boys all exchanged slightly incredulous looks at that one but nodded their agreement . Once Jake was finished with the rules he took a deep breath. “There’s one more thing we need to talk about.”

Louis groaned. “There’s more?”

“Yes, and this one is a bit less pleasant.”

“Less pleasant than having to pretend I’m not in love with my boyfriend?” Louis asked cheekily.

“Yes. We need to talk about what happens if this relationship doesn’t work out.” Jake held up a hand as both Louis and Harry started to protest. “It is a fact that relationships end. It happens all the time.” He smiled at the sight of the set jaws and angry eyes. “Right now you are madly and happily in love, but shit happens. And in this case if you do break up it could have very serious repercussions for this group.”

“I think we’re more than capable of acting like professionals.” Louis insisted.

“I would love to believe you, mate, but I’ve seen people twice your age with years in the industry act like fools and cause no end of problems over a break up.” Jake rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, it happens and we have to have a plan in place if it does. You two are very young and we don’t have any idea what is going to happen over the next few months. If this band blows up and you are in the closet it is going to put a lot of pressure on your relationship.”

“We know that, but we can’t be thinking about breaking up when we just got together.” Harry argued.

“To be fair, what is there to plan for any way? If we break up we promise to act like professional adults and not drag the band into our personal problems. There, done. Can we move on now.” Louis was clearly over that part of the conversation.

Jake studied the boys across from him and could see he was going to get nowhere with this. “Fine we will revisit this topic though, be aware.”

Harry nodded. “We get it, Jake, we really do. We don’t want to be the reason something bad happens to this band. But we also have to live our lives.”

“I know, Harry, I know.” Jake sighed. “We’ll get together in a couple of weeks to see how things are going. In the mean time, you will follow the guidelines.”

Louis snorted. “Is that what we’re calling them?”

“You can think of them as your gospel.” Jake retorted. “This is important, boys, Simon is giving you a lot of rope here. Try not to hang yourselves.” He stared at Louis and Harry until they both nodded. “Good, get out of here. Simon should be back by now and waiting for you on stage.”

When they were all in the hallway outside Simon’s office Louis spoke to the other three boys. “Can you guys give us a minute, we’ll catch up.”

“Louis we need to get to work.” Liam protested.

“Two minutes is hardly going to make or break us Liam.” Louis said, his voice low and hard.

“C’mon, Lee, lets go” Zayn threw his arm over Liam’s shoulder and hauled him and Niall away. He sent Louis and Harry a look over his shoulder. “A few minutes. That’s it.”

Louis nodded and waved them away before turning to Harry. “Are you okay?”

Harry shrugged. “I guess.” He shook his hair out and coughed. “It just sort of sucks, you know. I mean I knew what he was gonna say before we walked in the room but. . .” He stopped and reached up to touch Louis face softly. “I’ve never been in love before and I guess I just wish it didn’t have to be treated like some nasty little secret, is all.”

Louis rubbed his cheek against the hand on his cheek and took Harry’s other hand in his. “I know, Love. But it won’t be for that long. Like we said, if we get big, we call the shots, and if we don’t, no one cares.” He squeezed Harry’s hand reassuringly. “To be fair, I’m not really ready to be out to everyone.”

Harry ran his thumb over Louis’ cheekbone. “I know, I just wish we got to decide.”

“And we will, soon.” Louis grinned cheekily. “We’re gonna be the biggest thing the UK has ever seen.” He announced grandly. “And nobody will be able to tell us what to do!” He spun away from Harry his arms in the air.

Harry shook his head. “You’re a lunatic.” He grabbed Louis and reeled him in dropping a smacking kiss on his lips. “I’m glad you’re my lunatic though.” He nodded to the stage doors. “We should get in there before Liam and Simon have duelling aneurysms.”

“One more minute. C’mere.” Louis pulled Harry into his arms and kissed him. He poured all the love and trust and passion he felt for this beautiful boy into the kiss. When felt Harry tremble in his arms he ended the kiss and pressed his forehead to the taller boy's. “We can do this. I know we can. Yeah?”

Harry nodded smiling. “Yeah.”

 

THE END


End file.
